we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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