some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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