so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
