sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
