I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize