uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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