Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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