i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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