dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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