Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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