is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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