I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
