is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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