I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
