He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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