Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
