So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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