She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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