I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
