You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
