Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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