I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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