Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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