she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
