so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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