my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
