my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
