Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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