I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
