Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
