when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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