And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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