Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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