if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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