Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
