she looked like the before picture.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
