I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
