It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
