Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
