I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
