Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize