did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
