rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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