it wasn't lemon gatorade
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
