im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
