Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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