I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
