It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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