there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
