is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
