i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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