Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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