I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
