i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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