i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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