I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
