She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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